Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Night Train

The train is always an experience. You sit facing strangers for hours, and somehow always end up next to the crazies.  The night train is like the normal train on crack.

I had an 11 hour night train from Rosenheim, Germany to Roma Termini.  I was dreading the journey and wished I could somehow just appear in Roma. Bernadette and her mom took me to the station at 9:30.  I think all Americans are drawn to each other, because somehow I found two girls from NY.  As I was talking to them, a woman comes up and says "Did someone say Ohio?"  Oh yes. I found someone who goes to Bowling Green in this tiny town in Germany.  Go figure.

As the train pulled away, I leaned out the window and waved to Bernadette and her mom.  I have ALWAYS wanted to do that, so I was pretty pleased.  Then I headed to my compartment, which was of course full.  The train was full and super expensive since it is the holiday season, so I just bought a seat instead of a bed.  Unfortunately for me the only seats available were the middle.  

For those of you who don't know, the trains are set up like this:  a thin corridor runs along the car, off of which there are compartments.  Each compartment seats six, with two rows of 3 seats facing each other.  They are small.  After kicking out some guy in my seat, I squeezed in.  Next came the inspection of the people I would be spending the night with.

On my right (in the window seat, lucky puttana) was a round German woman.  She seemed ok.  Across from her was an easter european girl/woman.  I'm not sure, because her face seemed like a 30year old, but her clothes (a tshirt with a flower on it that said 'flower' and some flowery shorts) seemed like a child. I stared at her for a while and could not come to a conclusion.   Next to her and across from me was a very skinny, tall, and manscaped Italian 20 something.  He was wearing a Wendy's "Where's the Beef?" t-shirt.  He was so thin, I wondered if he was seriously asking. Next to him and next to me were these two Italian teenagers, maybe 17 years old.  They may have been sisters, because they had the same strong schnoz.  They were bratty kids, and annoying to sit by.  The one next to me decided to sit sideways, with her back pressing against our shared armrest and me.  It was a constant battle to claim the space.  Usually people try at all costs not to touch the strangers around them.  This girl was all over me, but I did not want to lose so I just leaned into her to.  This completely backfired, because she had no problem.  She was cuddling me like we regularly sleep together.  Fine.  I could deal with that, but her headphones were emitting loud euro techno. I don't know how she could listen to that for hours. I had images of discotech's bouncing around my mind, and I still can't get that bass out of my head.  I finally fell asleep for a bit, but these girls just started talking and laughing at 2 am, so then I was up.  At this time the eastern european girl/woman left at Trento, and on came a normal Italian man who talked on the phone for 30 minutes. Otherwise he was fine.

At 4 am the girls got off at Bologna.  I wish they hadn't left, because what came next was much worse.  This huge man whose nationality I don't know came and sat across from me (by this time I moved to the aisle).  His friend, who looked like the oompa loompa from the new Charlie and the Chocolate factory (except taller) sat next to him.  As I was drifting to sleep, the huge man started muttering, loudly, on every single exhale.  The words (a language I  did not even recognize) would start out extremely loud, and then trail off into unintelligible mumblings.  Everyone was staring at him with 'wtf dude' in their eyes.  I was starting to wonder if he had some problem, when I realized he was saying his prayers.  Fine, if you want to pray at 4am, go ahead.  But go out into the corridor, or say it in your head.  Don't start yelling in a compartment full of people trying to sleep, jackass.  
But that wasn't the most offensive part.  Oh no.  Then, he took off his shoes. He started putting his nasty bare feet all over. Anyone who knows me knows I hate feet.  Strangers feet are the worst.  At one point he tried to put them on my seat and I was like helllll no. The Italian guy actually asked him to move them off of his seat.  He was creepy as well.  I would open my eyes and would catch him staring at me.  Normal people look away when you see them staring, but he did not.  There had to be something wrong, because I know I did not look cute at 4 am, curled up in a ball, disgruntled.  

Sleeping. Ugh.  Every part of me fell asleep - right butt-cheek, left butt-cheek, back, pinkie toe - but I could barely sleep.  We sat for an HOUR in Bologna, not moving.  At 8 am a man with some kind of mental disability came and sat in the one empty seat in our compartment, although there were compartments with more empties by now elsewhere.  He started YELLING into the phone.  I mean yelling. Screaming.  It was time to get up.  He just stared  at the oompa loompa man, and made him very uncomfortable.  As it neared 9am I looked around and noticed we were still in the country, and the train would be late.  Everyone was up looking out the windows, and I watched with interest as a really tall, thin, bald, and pale guy did sun salutations in the corridor.  

The train arrived an hour late, so we got to Termini at 10am.  SO glad we sat in Bologna for an hour.  It wasn't a horrible train ride (especially since it wasn't hot at all), and I am a bit amused looking back on it. Night trains are just one of those European experiences everybody should have. 

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